The Death of Good Writing: Why Your Emails Sound Like a Robot Had a Stroke

Professional Development Training That Actually Makes Sense

The other day I watched a grown adult—someone who presumably graduated university and holds down a decent job—struggle for twenty minutes to write a two-line email asking for a meeting time. Twenty bloody minutes! They kept deleting and rewriting, asking colleagues for advice, and eventually sent something that read like it was translated from English to Mandarin and back again through Google Translate circa 2003.

This is the state of workplace writing in 2025, folks. We've got more communication tools than ever before, yet somehow we've collectively forgotten how to string together a coherent sentence that doesn't make the reader want to throw their laptop out the window.

The Uncomfortable Truth About Business Writing

Here's what nobody wants to admit: most professional writing is absolutely terrible. Not just bad—terrible. We've created this bizarre corporate language where simple ideas get buried under mountains of meaningless jargon, passive voice, and sentences longer than a Melbourne tram route.

I've been training people in workplace communication for fifteen years, and I can tell you that the problem has gotten worse, not better. Much worse.

The irony? In an age where we send more written messages than any generation in history, we're somehow getting worse at writing them. We've traded clarity for what we think sounds "professional." We've confused complexity with competence.

Why Your Writing Sounds Like Corporate Vomit

Let me paint you a picture. You need to tell someone their report deadline has moved. Instead of writing "The report deadline is now Friday," you write: "Please be advised that we are implementing a timeline adjustment whereby the aforementioned deliverable will now be required for submission by the end-of-week timeframe."

What. The. Hell.

This isn't professional writing—it's professional posturing. And it's everywhere. From Brisbane boardrooms to Perth startups, people are writing like they're auditioning for the world's most boring academic paper.

The worst part? They think this makes them sound smart. It doesn't. It makes them sound like they're trying too hard to impress their high school English teacher who's been dead for thirty years.

The Real Reason People Write Badly

Most writing problems aren't actually writing problems—they're thinking problems. When your thoughts are muddled, your writing will be muddled. When you're not sure what you're trying to say, you'll hide behind big words and complex sentences hoping nobody notices.

I see this constantly in training sessions. Someone will show me a paragraph that would make Dickens weep, and when I ask them to explain what they're trying to communicate, they can't do it clearly. They haven't thought through their message before trying to write it.

Here's controversial opinion number one: If you can't explain your idea to a twelve-year-old, you don't understand it well enough yourself. Full stop.

The Five-Minute Writing Revolution

Want to transform your writing overnight? Follow these rules religiously:

Write like you talk. Not exactly like you talk—we don't need every "um" and "er"—but with the same natural rhythm and vocabulary you'd use if the person was sitting across from you. If you wouldn't say "utilise" in conversation, don't write it. Use "use."

One idea per sentence. This isn't primary school; it's clarity. Complex ideas don't require complex sentences. They require clear thinking broken into digestible pieces.

Kill your darlings. That clever phrase you're so proud of? The one that took you ten minutes to craft? If it doesn't serve the message, delete it. Your ego isn't more important than your reader's time.

Read it out loud. Seriously. If you stumble reading your own writing, your reader will stumble too. This simple trick catches more problems than any grammar checker ever will.

The Tools That Actually Help

Forget about fancy writing software for a minute. The best writing tool is often the simplest: your voice recorder. Before writing anything important, record yourself explaining the concept to an imaginary colleague. Then transcribe and edit. You'll be amazed how much clearer your written communication becomes when you <a href="https://justpaste.me/a7mM3">start with spoken language</a> as your foundation.

Another game-changer? Print your drafts. I know, I know—it's 2025, who prints anything? But there's something about seeing your words on paper that reveals problems invisible on screen. The formatting changes, the spacing, the way your eye moves across the page—it all helps you spot issues you'd miss otherwise.

The Personality Problem

Here's controversial opinion number two: Most "professional" writing strips away all personality, and that's exactly why it fails. We're so afraid of sounding unprofessional that we end up sounding like nothing at all.

Some of the most effective business communicators I know write with distinct voices. They use contractions. They start sentences with "And" or "But." They write like human beings, not like committees.

Richard Branson doesn't write like a corporate robot, and last I checked, Virgin's doing alright. The team at Atlassian communicates with personality, and their software powers half the tech industry. There's a lesson here.

When Templates Become Traps

Everyone loves a good template. "Just fill in the blanks," they say. "It'll save time," they promise. And sure, templates can be useful starting points. But they've also created an epidemic of sameness in business writing.

I've seen entire organisations where every email sounds identical because everyone's using the same tired templates. "I hope this email finds you well." "Please don't hesitate to reach out." "Thank you for your time and consideration."

These phrases are the writing equivalent of elevator music—technically inoffensive but soul-crushingly bland.

The Meeting Minutes Disaster

Speaking of templates gone wrong, let's talk about meeting minutes. Holy hell, what a mess most organisations make of this simple task. I've read minutes that were longer than the actual meetings and somehow managed to communicate absolutely nothing useful.

Meeting minutes should answer three questions: What was decided? Who's doing what? When is it due? That's it. Not a verbatim transcript of every tangent about the office coffee machine. Not a novel-length summary of background context everyone already knows.

Yet somehow, we've convinced ourselves that good meeting minutes require capturing every word spoken, formatted like a legal document, distributed to seventeen people who weren't even in the meeting. Madness.

The Email Signature Epidemic

While we're on the topic of corporate writing disasters, can we please discuss email signatures? When did these things become novels? I've seen signatures longer than the actual email, complete with inspirational quotes, multiple phone numbers, social media links, and legal disclaimers that would make a pharmaceutical company blush.

Your email signature should tell people how to contact you. That's it. It's not a personal branding exercise or a philosophical statement about your approach to synergistic solutions in the dynamic landscape of whatever-the-hell-you-do.

Why Grammar Nazis Are Missing the Point

Look, grammar matters. Spelling matters. But they're not the most important things, and focusing on them exclusively misses the bigger picture. I'd rather read a grammatically imperfect email that communicates clearly than a grammatically perfect one that says nothing.

The real writing crimes aren't split infinitives or dangling modifiers—they're unclear thinking, buried main points, and messages that waste the reader's time. Fix those first, then worry about whether you should use "who" or "whom."

The Feedback Loop Nobody Uses

Here's something that will revolutionise your writing, but almost nobody does it: ask for feedback. Not on grammar—on clarity. Send your important documents to someone and ask: "What questions does this raise? What parts confused you? What would you do next after reading this?"

The responses will shock you. What seems perfectly clear in your head often isn't clear at all to your reader. That elegant introduction you crafted? It might be burying your main point. That detailed explanation you included? It might be confusing rather than clarifying.

But here's the catch: you need to ask people who will give you honest feedback, not polite feedback. The colleague who always says "looks great!" isn't helping you improve. Find someone who will tell you when your writing is unclear, even if it stings a bit.

The Technology Trap

We've got autocorrect, grammar checkers, AI writing assistants, and spell check built into everything. So why hasn't this technology made our writing better? Because these tools fix surface problems while ignoring deeper issues.

Grammarly can catch your typos, but it can't tell you that your main point is buried in paragraph four. AI can suggest alternative phrasings, but it can't tell you that you're writing to the wrong audience entirely. <a href="https://www.deviantart.com/evelynarthur/journal/Communication-Training-Melbourne-1216988439">Spellcheck can fix your typos, but it can't fix your thinking</a>.

Technology is a tool, not a solution. The solution is developing your own judgment about what good writing looks like and why it matters.

The Cost of Bad Writing

Let's get practical for a minute. Bad writing costs money. Real money. When your project brief is unclear, people build the wrong thing. When your instructions are confusing, people waste time asking for clarification. When your proposals are boring, you lose business to competitors who can communicate their value clearly.

I worked with a consulting firm that was losing pitches despite having the best technical solutions. The problem? Their proposals read like tax law. Once we cleaned up their writing—made it clearer, more engaging, more human—their win rate jumped by 40%. Forty percent! Same services, same prices, better communication.

The Australian Advantage

Australians actually have a natural advantage when it comes to effective writing. We're culturally direct, we value plain speaking, and we have a healthy skepticism of pretentious bullshit. We just need to apply these same values to our written communication.

Think about how you'd explain something at the pub versus how you'd write it in an email. The pub version is probably clearer, more engaging, and more honest. Obviously, you need to adjust the tone for professional contexts, but keep that clarity and directness.

The Edit That Changes Everything

Most people think editing means checking for typos. Real editing means being ruthless about clarity. Here's my standard editing process:

Read through once and ask: "What's my main point?" If you can't identify it immediately, you've got problems.

Read through again and ask: "What can I cut?" Almost everything can be shorter without losing meaning. Almost everything.

Read through a third time and ask: "Is this as clear as I can make it?" This is where you replace jargon with plain English, break up long sentences, and reorganise confusing sections.

Only after those three passes should you worry about grammar and spelling.

The Meeting Minutes Masterclass

Since we talked about meeting minutes earlier, let me give you a template that actually works:

Decisions Made:

• [List actual decisions]

Action Items:

• [Who] will [do what] by [when]

Next Meeting:

• [Date, time, agenda items]

That's it. No background. No discussion summaries. No verbatim quotes. Just the information people need to move forward.

Why Your Training Failed

If you've been through writing training before and it didn't help, I'll bet I know why. Most writing courses focus on rules and techniques without addressing the fundamental issue: you haven't clarified your thinking before you start writing.

It's like trying to teach someone to drive by explaining the mechanical workings of the engine. Technically interesting, but not particularly useful when you're trying to get from Point A to Point B without crashing.

The best writing training starts with thinking training. <a href="https://wakelet.com/wake/1JiR31885oN7Am8kgC9HD">What are you trying to achieve? Who are you writing for? What action do you want them to take?</a> Answer these questions first, and the writing becomes much easier.

The Path Forward

Effective writing isn't a mysterious art form reserved for English majors and journalists. It's a learnable skill that anyone can master with the right approach and enough practice. But it requires abandoning some deeply ingrained habits and assumptions about what "professional" writing should sound like.

Start small. Pick one bad writing habit and focus on changing it. Maybe it's using passive voice when active voice would be clearer. Maybe it's burying your main point in paragraph three when it should be in sentence one. Maybe it's writing emails longer than the Magna Carta when three sentences would suffice.

Change one thing at a time, practice consistently, and ask for honest feedback. Your readers will thank you, your colleagues will appreciate you, and your career will benefit in ways you probably haven't even considered yet.

Remember: good writing isn't about impressing people with your vocabulary. It's about respecting their time by communicating clearly and efficiently. In a world drowning in information, clarity isn't just helpful—it's a superpower.

The question isn't whether you can afford to improve your writing. The question is whether you can afford not to.

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